Right now, wherever you are, whatever you are doing… STOP. Take your hands off the keyboard, phone or ipad, and give yourself a hug. It’s okay, I’ll wait for you. Give yourself a nice big squeeze of a bear hug, as though you are in a straightjacket of love for YOU.
Now you can stop. Okay, let’s get on with the topic of this blog post.
Never, ever let someone else’s view of your imperfections get in the way of how you love yourself. Other people’s issues with you should never interfere with your view of yourself. Body dysmorphia, whether that imperfection is real or imagined by you, can only cause anxiety if YOU allow it to take over your conscious mind.
Case in point, today my mother made the statement to me, “I really wish we could have your arms done before the wedding.” This took me by surprise, really. I don’t think about my flabby arms much, I just religiously do my arm routine at home 3-4 times a week (every other day) to improve the muscle tone without the expectation that it will ever go away. I don’t consciously think about how awful it looks. And while yes, I agree, it does look awful, it’s not something I let bother me.
However, it’s not something I dwell on, EVER. It’s not something I can immediately change so I don’t give it a second thought or allow it to cause me anxiety or make me feel self conscious. Yes, I do frequently avoid wearing sleeveless shirts, but more often than not, I’m grabbing a sweater because I get cold so easily. My response was to brush it off with a, “Meh, whatever Mom.” Obviously it bothers her more than it bothers me. There are far better things I can think of to need to spend money on than plastic surgery. My flabby arms are not hurting my health, so it’s not on my mind much.
For many people, such a comment coming from anyone would suddenly cause severe self conscious reactions and anxieties. For me, I see it as a reflection of my mother’s own issues with her body. Somehow, I did not get that gene that makes me dwell on things I can’t change. However, this awkward situation today got me to thinking… Maybe I’m just not that girl who worries about what other people think of me, I don’t obsess over how I look to other people. I look in the mirror and I see myself as I am and I accept that. I don’t delve deeper into if there was less fat here or there because in the last three and a half years I’ve realized that my body will lose weight wherever it does without concern for what I think.
I have worked hard to finely tune my ability to “Let it go.” Don't be that person that gets worked over by the idea that I must be perfect. I am imperfectly moving through this life, living and understand that what will be, will be and I am happy if I say I am happy. I am working toward change so when I've worked hard to solve a problem its resolution does not come as a surprise. It just is. I just am. I will just continue to be, do, think and learn to accept myself as I am.
I'm not saying that goals aren't important, I'm just saying that when I set them I know I will achieve them, therefore I put little emphasis on the time it takes and more thought into the path of the journey. Enjoy the journey, always.