It hurts my soul to see good people treated badly. Kind acts not going unnoticed, but acknowledged publicly then refused privately, through email in a cowardly fashion for no given reasons. In this journey together as a community, we must honor and respect each other's individual experience. In doing that, you must realize that not everyone will be friends. We are not all cut from the same cloth. We all have different passions, goals, dreams and desires that do not have to mesh into one.
We all have opportunities to do what is right, in our personal lives and our public image. Some people will do anything to destroy the public image of others out of greed, envy, jealous and sometimes, just pure evil. It is each individual's personal responsibility to choose to engage or not to engage is drama. Every single person has a choice in whom they choose to associate their allegiance or their claim to neutrality.
It is in choosing to do something to give back to others and share your experiences that is important. Love one another, or walk away. It is not always about who does it better, but it is honorable to be righteous. It's easy to choose to do the right thing when your heart is in the right place. We are all righteous babes-- warriors in our journeys. Each story is different. Some of us tell our stories on blogs, others choose individuals they feel comfortable with to share in private. When others ask for help, we should always strive to be honest. #1 if you ask for help, you should be met with an abundance of compassion and opportunity to receive accurate information or an account of another's experience.
Greatness comes from rising from the ashes like the Phoenix.
In searching for your truths, please employ the basics of social etiquette. My experience in bariatric support groups has been that whenever someone who is not present to defend themselves is not available, it is likely advisable to not engage in criticizing or defending a person. I can't say I always live up to this, but I have been in the position of being a group member where someone who was not there was criticized for her food choices. I was offended this was allowed to go on in the group, and I left the group for quite due to my ethical dilemma with this situation.
When I went back to the group, the dietitian actually let me work with the group. We focused on specific philosophical questions that were directed inward.
"What have you had to let go of within yourself to improve your life (after surgery?)"
"How do you handle difficult, embarrassing, or tough situations with people who judge you for having surgery?" "What can you choose to do differently this week to be successful?"
"How have you implemented exercise into your daily life?"
The ideas shared were always inspirational. As a group, everyone had insight in their own behaviors and most of us could relate to other people in the group's experiences. It was uplifting to attend group at that point. We shared and laughed and grew together. That's what this journey is about, finding yourself and others to grow with and share your experiences. We don't all have to be friends, but we should ALL be nice to each other.